Need Fitness Motivation?

One of my biggest struggles, not just after my sleeve but my whole life, has been trying to be active. I never liked to work out, and would rather sit on my butt and browse the internet or watch TV. Before getting my sleeve, I made a conscious effort to be more active, and I was (usually...obviously when starting, and still now, there are days I don't want to do anything). Since my sleeve, I've gotten even better. I've started small, vowing to do at least 10 minutes of fitness every day. Most of the time, once I've started, I keep going. I feel better after doing something active, and am working hard to get to the place that it becomes habit, and something I NEED to do.

If you're like me, you need motivation... and lots of it! Obviously, losing weight is motivation, losing inches is motivation... but I need little things to push me forward. I bought a FitBit, so I could be more aware of how much I was getting up and walking around, and I love it so far.

Recently, I found a site that I thought I'd pass on, in case you guys hadn't heard of it.

If you use something to track your fitness (ie: fitbit, nike, garmin), you can sync it up to this website and earn points which you can redeem for things. The more active you are, the more daily points you get. Kind of a cool extra motivator!! :]

If you use my referral link, you'll get 50 points when signing up to start you off! (I wish I would have known someone to refer me to get 50 points, I only have 33 so far! haha).

http://earnd.it/PpzRl0

Let's get in those fitness minutes, be active, and earn some free stuff! :]

Dealing with Setbacks

I will be posting an update within the next week, going over my last few weeks of post-op life. Right now, though, I wanted to share a blog I wrote for a challenge. I have signed up for a Biggest Loser's Challenge on SparkPeople.com, my first one ever, and each week there are different challenges. I spent a good amount of time thinking about what to write, and writing it, and figured what better place to share this than my blog?

"This week, practice letting go of negative thinking by reflecting on a recent setback or mental barrier that you broke through, determine what you learned from it, and then write a blog about it."

I thought about this off and on all week, trying to come up with a decent subject to write a blog about. When I think of recent setbacks, I could say getting over the fear of having my surgery, or getting off my behind and getting active when it was easier to be lazy. The things that continue to stick in my mind, however, are mainly the events of the last year, but even the several years prior to that that led me to the decision of having WLS.

Over the years, I've known I needed to get my body under my control. When I was younger, I may not have known that specifically, but I knew I was heavier than everyone else (or so it seemed), and I didn't want to be. I dieted, tried pills, and points. After WW one year, I lost 30lbs in about a month and a half... after, I don't know what happened.  I don't know why I didn't stick with it, or why my mind didn't "click" and say- keep going! A few years ago, after giving it what I thought was a "good go" at eating right and trying to exercise, I lost nothing. I felt completely defeated, and fell right back into my old habits, like I always had. Looking back now, I think I just wasn't ready. Maybe I was lazy, maybe I was not educated enough on being healthy. I do know that I clearly lacked the drive to REALLY make the necessary changes, and likely even the true desire.

My decision to have weight loss surgery was not one that happened over night. In fact, it took over 3 years, lots of research, many discussions, and even more research. My struggle with my weight has gone on much longer, though. It took me many failed diets, frustration, tears, and acceptance that if I don’t do something to change that I will have many unwanted problems in the future.

It wasn't until this time last year (actually these next couple of days are exactly a year!) that I finally made the decision that changed my life. When I finally set my mind to it, and put the plan into motion, my outlook changed. I was ready. I was ready to learn, ready to take in everything I could, and ready to CHANGE. I believe I've done just that. I overcame whatever many reasons were holding me back... fear, the idea that I wasn't strong enough. the idea that my hard work wouldn't pay off, and any other nagging voices in my head telling me I "can't". I CAN, I DID, I AM, and I WILL.

I've learned that I am stronger than I sometimes give myself credit for, and that hard work does pay off. I've learned the unknown isn't always something to fear, sometimes it's exciting, and refreshing. I've learned not to give up for any reason, if this is what I really want, I will find a way. I've learned all the set backs, all the times I've failed, all the feelings of defeat, all the tears, all the frustration... it all lead me to where I am today. And today I am excited for my more healthy and active future.

My Youtube Channel

Just a quick post- I've updated my youtube channel, SheddingThePast, with my first post-op video! I even did a once through! Go me, ha! Here's the link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0sofvJ_dU9g&feature=plcp

I also gave my numbers for the first time there, so I figured I would post them here as well. Like I mentioned in my video, it's a little tough for me to share these so publicly, because I never really share them at all, but I guess it's a little easier knowing that I'm on the other side and they will only go lower. 

Highest Weight: 363 lbs
Started Options: 357 lbs
Pre-Op Appt: 340 lbs
Day of Surgery: 336 lbs
11 Days Post-Op: 323.5 lbs

Loss since surgery (as of 11 days post-op): 12.5 lbs
Total Loss: 39.5 lbs

So, there we have it folks! I'm currently 18 days post-op, and haven't weighed in since my 11th day, so I'm not sure what else I've lost since then. I will update my numbers as I find out, though.

Thanks for reading, and if you're not a subscriber of my youtube channel already, please do so! 

I'm on the Other Side!! First Post-Op Blog

I’m finally on the other side! My surgery was on Monday, June 4th, and everything went well. The last week has been up and down, and today I'm feeling okay. My first two weeks I will be on full liquids. I'm doing pretty well with fluid intake (tolerating everything pretty good so far), the first full day I was home (Thursday), I took in 59 1/2 oz of fluid! I surprised myself. Friday was a little lower, but I had a very tough night (almost passed out after a shower, and had strong pain on my right side). The other days I’ve been around 46-52oz per day. I'm noticing I'm going further without taking my "happy juice", which is good. My bruises were apparently worse than normal, but they're healing up pretty well. Just glue on the incisions, and the color of the bruising indicates healing.

 I’m just taking it one day at a time, and reminding myself that this is just temporary and it will all be worth it. I’m happy to finally be on the other side, and no longer waiting and anticipating. I'm very thankful for the help my family has given me, especially my mom (who stayed with me in the hospital the entire time, and has been my main "at home nurse"). I don't know how I would have gotten through this last week without their help. Thank you to my friends who were with me when I went into surgery, were there when I got out, and visited while I was in the hospital. Thanks to everyone for your support and well wishes!

 ((If you are on the front page of my blog and want to read a detailed account of my experience, click the title of this entry, and you will be taken to the full post.))

I See the Light at the End of the Tunnel

After my psychological evaluation, I was feeling especially antsy. I felt so stir crazy waiting around again, this time for an appointment to be set with the surgeon. I have already done so much waiting (mainly between finishing my Options classes and being scheduled with the bariatrician), and waiting some more without something on the calendar was not something I wanted to do! Yet, what other option did I have?! Dr. Murali had told me during our appointment that, after the referral is sent to the surgeon's office, I should hear from them within a week to schedule my surgeon consultation. I verified with him that he sent my referral over the same day as my psych eval, and then waited.

Last Monday I called the education department to inquire about setting the appointment. I was told my referral had been sent, and I just needed to wait. I was also informed that St. Bernadine Hospital would be the one to call me, since the surgery would be there... this didn't sound right to me. I understand the surgery will be performed there (Kaiser's new hospital is still under construction, so they're using the facilities there), but it is still Kaiser doctors, and Kaiser insurance that I'm dealing with. I called again on Wednesday, the one week mark, and was told the same information. I also asked both times if there was a number I could call myself to see if I could be scheduled now, and I was told no. I waited a couple more days, and I felt myself getting more and more anxious! I didn't want to have to wait through the weekend to have my appointment set. I spoke with someone on the Gastric Sleeve forums who is going through Kaiser and is one step ahead of me. She provided me with the number for the Kaiser Surgical Department, which is who she received a call from to schedule her surgeon consultation. I gave them a call, thinking it couldn't hurt...and it certainly didn't! I informed them I was waiting to be scheduled with the surgeon, they verified my referral was received, and then scheduled me for the first available appointment. SO glad I called! No thanks to the education department at Kaiser, no doubt. The most frustrating thing I've dealt with during this process has got to be their inconsistencies. It drives me crazy! But not too far in the future I will be on the other side!

My appointment is scheduled for May 4th, with Dr. Fedorka. I have read great reviews about him. I'm glad to have a day to count down to again, as it makes the time go by quicker. I will be writing down all questions I have for him over the next couple weeks, and calling in every day to see if I can get into a cancellation! Crossing my fingers and toes for that! This appointment is when I will be scheduled for ...*drumroll please*... SURGERY! Finally! There is a light at the end of the tunnel!

Psych Evaluation: Success

My psych evaluation was a success!! While I was in the waiting room, the Therapist I was scheduled with let me know she was running a little late, and asked if I was okay waiting 5-10 minutes. I ended up waiting 25 minutes, but I really didn’t mind since I was lucky enough to get into the appointment by way of a cancellation! While I was waiting, Dr. Murali (the Bariatrician) saw me and said hello, and asked what I was doing there (I had told him my psych eval was scheduled for the 26^th), so I let him know and he wished me good luck. The Therapist got caught up in a forum, so Dr. Julie Siegel ended up conducting my evaluation. She recognized me from the classes, which was nice, and I remember enjoying her days during the Options classes. Dr. Siegel was friendly, welcoming, and easy to talk to.

The appointment itself was pretty straightforward, and only took about 30-40 minutes. Dr. Siegel asked me several questions, and encouraged any thoughts, questions, or concerns to be shared. Here are the questions that were asked (pretty sure I was able to remember all of them, though wording may be a bit off):

What changes have you made to prepare yourself for this surgery/change?

Do you have support?

Have you attended a support group?
Have you lost weight since you started the classes?
Are you taking any protein supplements/shakes?

Are you exercising?

Have you suffered from depression, anxiety, panic attacks? Are you on medication for any of these?

How do you manage stress?
Are you or have you ever been dependent on drugs or alcohol?

What is your motivation for surgery?

At the conclusion of the evaluation, Dr. Siegel let me know she had no recommendations for me, and would be giving my file back to Dr. Murali after we finished. So, if the timeline Dr. Murali shared with me is correct, within the next week I should have an appointment set up with the surgeon! I'm hoping it will be less than the predicted 6 weeks out, and that I can get in sooner thanks to another cancellation. Maybe that good luck will continue! I'm not sure if I set up a surgery date when I meet with the surgeon, but I sure hope so. It will be so nice when I finally have a date. For now, though, I'm happy I'm making progress. The two big appointments are now in the past, and were a success! Can't wait to keep moving forward!

Moving Right Along!

In my last post, I let you know I had two appointments scheduled: March 9th- Bariatrician, and March 26th- Therapist (Psych Eval). My appointment with the Bariatrician (a physician, trained in bariatric surgery), went great! I was very anxious, and even downright nervous, after hearing from my fellow classmate how her appointment had gone. I was expecting to be grilled, and lectured, and it was anything but. Dr. Murali was friendly, and informative, and I left the appointment feeling good. (If anyone wants a detailed version of my appointment, to know what to expect or otherwise, let me know and I will send it to you.)

Also, I am down another 2lbs! That puts me at a total of 12lbs lost since orientation, and 14lbs down from my highest weight.

My appointment with the Therapist, for my psych evaluation, was scheduled for March 26th. I checked in a few times to see if there had been any cancellations, but each time was told no. I'm glad I continued to check, because when I called in this morning I was told there was a cancellation on the 14th and 16th. Of course, I took the first available! I did, however, share the information with a support forum I've been active on, and was able to help someone who still had another month to wait get in sooner.

So, tomorrow (well, technically later today), I go in for my pysch evaluation. I thought I would feel nervous, but after how well the bariatrician appointment went, I'm feeling pretty confident. The only thing I can do it be honest! I'm looking forward to finally getting a date to meet with the surgeon after this. Then it's only a matter of time until I have an official surgery date.

I found out a little more timeline information, as well. After my psych eval, the Therapist will send my file back to the Bariatrician, who will then send my referral to the surgeon. Within a week I should be scheduled with the surgeon, which is looking to be about a 6 week wait at this time. Then, I'll be scheduled for surgery.

Something Dr. Murali said that stuck with me, and I wanted to share:

The main reason people are overweight or unhealthy is because they don’t invest enough time in themselves. Meal planning takes time, exercising takes time. Many of the people that come through here are stretched too thin and are the go-to person for everyone else. That will need to change.

Something to Count Down to!

Good news! Or finally SOME news, haha. Friday afternoon I heard from a friend I made while going through the Options classes. She asked if I had received a call from Kaiser to schedule appointments...which I had not. I immediately called in (they've had trouble calling my cell phone in the past, because apparently it's an issue to call a long distance number, and it's easier to call my parent's house phone even though I've asked 10k times to call my cell, but that's another story) and spoke with a woman who sounded preoccupied and not too focused. After many "uhs" and "ums" and long pauses, she finally spit out that my file had been sent to my PCP, so she could review and clear my test results, and once they received it back I would be scheduled. I was pretty let down at the time, because I knew I'd have to wait through the weekend. In a turn of events, however, less than an hour later my dad let me know Kaiser called their house (surprise, surprise) to schedule me! Back on the phone again, and was able to schedule appointments to meet with the Bariatrician, and the Therapist (for the psych evaluation).

Here's the dates I have to count down til, for now:
March 9th- Bariatrician
March 26th- Pscyh Evaluation

Still Waiting...

Since my last update not too much has happened in the way of getting a surgery date, but a few things are worth noting.

I attended a Bariatric Support Group meeting on January 18th. My mom came along with me, as well as a friend from the Options classes who needed to attend a group meeting also. I'm glad my mom came along, she said she had a couple questions answered, so that's good. It was kind of a let down for me, and not really what I was expecting. It felt like more of a requirement to attend than something that I would continue on with (that particular group anyways). There were many people at the meeting, maybe 50, so it wasn't at all personal. There was a retired doctor that came to speak, and spoke the entire time. The only time I head any sort of personal stories was before the doctor showed up (he was late), and even then it was mostly the leaders of the group talking about themselves. It was nice hearing about the few post-surgery patients, and their success, though. I still feel as though the online support forums I've been involved in provide me with more information and support.

The day after I attended the support group, I called in to let Kaiser (the education department) know I had done it so they could update my file. I spoke with Angela, who told me she'd let Melissa know (the one who updates the files), and then once she got my file together and sent it back to her, she'd give me a call... and she told me it would be "a couple of days". I also asked if there was anything I could do in the mean time, and if I had to meet with the psych first (I thought they told us in class that the psych eval was first, didn't mention being able to do it in any order). She told me I could meet with the Dr. first, as those appts are available pretty much every day, and the psych eval appointments are about a month out. So I'm thinking, wow, awesome! I'll be able to at least meet with the Dr. soon! By the 26th, I still hadn't heard from anyone, so I called and was told someone had tried to reach me. I'm thinking this is it! Yeah, no so much. Apparently Melissa tried calling me to tell me she added to my case that I had attended the support group. I was like.. okay AND?! She told me they weren't even on my class yet as far as reviewing cases, were currently about a "class and a half" away, and that it could take a week to hear something, or a couple months. It's very frustrating being told different things from people working in the same entity. I wish they would get their stuff together, and be on the same page, because it would make the experience for those going through this much smoother. After a couple weeks I hadn't heard anything, and wanted to get an idea of how quickly they were moving along. I called in, and received a return call (well, my mom took the call, since I was unavailable at the time, ha) saying they were still a class ahead of mine, and they would automatically schedule me for an appointment for when I returned from Texas (March 7th) as long as everything was cleared. How long after I return is a good question, though.

On February 17th, I went in to re-take my Vitamin D test. I had been taking Vitamin D supplements, since my original test was very low (result- 12). On Wednesday, my results were finally updated, and I am at an acceptable level now. I re-tested at 35 (>20 needed for surgery, >30 is normal range). Definitely happy about that, and relieved! One less thing to worry about.

I have spoken with my PCP (Primary Care Doctor), and given her an update of where things are. I pretty much said the quicker she can clear my file once it's sent to her, the better. I'm not anticipating any hold ups on my end, as everything has been done.

This process is taking longer that I had believed it would. I was thinking it would be about 3 months out from 'graduation' that I would be having surgery, and 3 months is quickly approaching. I was hoping to have my surgery done by the beginning of March, but it seems further and further away the longer this waiting goes on. I'm trying to stay pumped up and positive about it, but the more time that goes by, the more it feels like this will never happen for me. I just have to remember I've already done most of what needs to be done, and once I have my appointments with the surgeon and for the psych eval, it will likely move pretty quickly.

On a positive note, since my last update I have lost 4 more pounds! Slow and steady, but going in the right direction. That brings me to a total of 11lbs lost since I started my classes October 4th.

I have also finally started to incorporate physical activity into my life. It took me awhile to do, and I think a lot of it had to do with needing to realize that I can't start out where I need to be, I have to build up to that point. The other day I finally decided to get over my *insert excuse here* (apprehension, fear, laziness?) and get my butt onto the elliptical machine. First, let me say this- I HATE IT. ha. I guess part of it is me thinking I can't do it. The first time, I was on for 7 minutes, and thought my heart was going to pound out of my chest. Maybe I went too fast, too hard, too soon. I got discouraged and realized that me being discouraged and upset about having such a hard time is what has stopped me from continuing in the past. I feel like I should be able to do 30+ minutes right off the bat, and the fact is that I can't. I can't even do 15. At first I felt like crap about this.. but the more I think about it, the more I realized I need to work up to where I want to be, not just expect to start where I want to be. I've never been an active person, so I guess it's realistic for me to think I can't just start being one- I have to work at it. I have not given up, and have been using my resistance bands as well. I feel better about it, but still have that thought in the back of my mind that I should be able to do more. I need to try and be realistic, and start out slowly so that I don't push myself hard enough that I just quit. If I start out small, and slowly build up, it should get easier with time and commitment. I need to keep reminding myself of this, be realistic, and not lose motivation.

So, that's what is going on in the world of Stephanie's Weight Loss Surgery Journey. Not too much, yet positive changes at the same time.

Nearing the End of the Beginning

My classes are nearly done. And them more waiting will commence. Not that I haven't been "waiting" this entire time.

I recently returned from my first cruise, which went to Cabo San Lucas with my mother and sister. I had a great time, and took away some great memories. I was ready for my next cruise before I had even finished the first!


I was a worried about gaining weight during this time, as it would be two weeks until my next class and weigh in.. and those two weeks not only included the cruise, but Thanksgiving as well. I was pleasantly surprised to find I had lost 2lbs, though.

I have to make up my 9th class, and hope to be able to do it this week after I return from Texas (I'm enjoying my time with my husband and dog :] ). I tried to schedule my re-take before I even left for the cruise, but apparently that's not how Kaiser classes work. I let them know when I would return and that I would be gone for a few days in Texas right after, and was told it wouldn't be a problem to get rescheduled. I was advised to call after I returned, to see when a class 9 was open. I called first thing Monday morning (the 5th), and was told Thursday was open.. which obviously wouldn't work for me since I'd be in Texas. I asked what was available the following week, and he said I would need to call the beginning of the week to find out. They sure don't make rescheduling easy! He did tell me, however, that as long as I made up the class "before surgery", it would be okay. I thought it had to be before my graduation, though.. which is what I will try to do either way.

For those who have been asking, I still do not have a surgery date set, yet. As I understand, after the classes are over, I will be scheduled for my psych evaluation and to meet with the surgeon. I'm not sure the order, but after those I should receive a date. From what I hear, it's about 3 months from the end of the class until surgery. Hopefully mine will be sooner than that, so I can get onto recovering and come home to my husband and start the rest of my life. :]

Halfway through classes!

I've now passed the halfway point of my bariatric classes with Kaiser! Kind of crazy to think I've been at this since October 4th, but even more so that it's already the middle of November. My last class is December 20th.

There are multiple tests to be completed throughout the 3 months of classes. After the second class, I was given the clearance to complete the first set of tests (which needed to be done before class 3). The first thing I needed to do was go to the lab to pick up a stool sample kit, as you had to have this done before having the bloodwork done. When I returned to the hospital, I first did my EKG test, and then a chest X-ray (took only about 15 minutes combined). After this I went to give a urine sample, and then get my blood drawn. By getting my blood drawn, I mean half of the blood in my body.... okay, maybe not that much, but 14 viles of blood is a lot!

The results from my tests all came back good. The only only thing that was wrong is I have a vitamin D deficiency, which was expected.

I've since started taking my vitamins every day. I take the following: multivitamin, calcium citrate+D, B1, and B12. I bought a weekly pill case, that has separate daily slots (split into AM/PM) that can be removed so I don't have to haul the whole case around when I go out.

Still to come- meet with the nutritionist, pyshc evaluation, and meet with the surgeon.

Update for the last month.

I have let myself slip into the lack of blog updates time warp. There is much to be updated on.

I began my Options classes on October 4th, and have since attended my 2nd, 3rd, and 4th classes (once a week, Tuesday nights). I am a third of the way through! Time did start moving more quickly once the classes began. So far, the classes have gone over the basics (the different surgery options, risks, complications, what to expect), how to handle stress, and nutrition. In the coming weeks, we will cover exercise, vitamins, and more of the mental aspect of the surgery/weight loss. We have a binder with handouts and information to read and fill out, and each week are given something new to add to our folders so that by the end of the 3 months we will have a full folder filled with information on bariatric surgery.

We've been given the suggestion to lose 10% of our weight by the end of our classes (December 20th). I say suggestion, because we've been told they "recommend" losing 5-10% of our weight, but that if we don't lose it's okay, and just be sure not to gain. Obviously, I think it would be beneficial to lose the weight, but I wish they'd give us a more definite response.

This last class covered nutrition, which was helpful. We were given information with menu plans and suggestions for different daily caloric intakes. I wish they would have given us this information sooner in the course because I think of it as beneficial information to help us begin losing weight.

I really need to focus on planning meals and documenting what I eat/drink. Keeping track of everything I eat/drink seems to be difficult to get into the habit of doing. Planning my meals will make it easier, also. For some reason I just can't seem to get into the groove of doing it. I know once I start, and get focused, I can do it.. but what's stopping me from doing that like yesterday?

I'm hoping the motivation and drive to get this going within me will begin soon.