Need Fitness Motivation?

One of my biggest struggles, not just after my sleeve but my whole life, has been trying to be active. I never liked to work out, and would rather sit on my butt and browse the internet or watch TV. Before getting my sleeve, I made a conscious effort to be more active, and I was (usually...obviously when starting, and still now, there are days I don't want to do anything). Since my sleeve, I've gotten even better. I've started small, vowing to do at least 10 minutes of fitness every day. Most of the time, once I've started, I keep going. I feel better after doing something active, and am working hard to get to the place that it becomes habit, and something I NEED to do.

If you're like me, you need motivation... and lots of it! Obviously, losing weight is motivation, losing inches is motivation... but I need little things to push me forward. I bought a FitBit, so I could be more aware of how much I was getting up and walking around, and I love it so far.

Recently, I found a site that I thought I'd pass on, in case you guys hadn't heard of it.

If you use something to track your fitness (ie: fitbit, nike, garmin), you can sync it up to this website and earn points which you can redeem for things. The more active you are, the more daily points you get. Kind of a cool extra motivator!! :]

If you use my referral link, you'll get 50 points when signing up to start you off! (I wish I would have known someone to refer me to get 50 points, I only have 33 so far! haha).

http://earnd.it/PpzRl0

Let's get in those fitness minutes, be active, and earn some free stuff! :]

Dealing with Setbacks

I will be posting an update within the next week, going over my last few weeks of post-op life. Right now, though, I wanted to share a blog I wrote for a challenge. I have signed up for a Biggest Loser's Challenge on SparkPeople.com, my first one ever, and each week there are different challenges. I spent a good amount of time thinking about what to write, and writing it, and figured what better place to share this than my blog?

"This week, practice letting go of negative thinking by reflecting on a recent setback or mental barrier that you broke through, determine what you learned from it, and then write a blog about it."

I thought about this off and on all week, trying to come up with a decent subject to write a blog about. When I think of recent setbacks, I could say getting over the fear of having my surgery, or getting off my behind and getting active when it was easier to be lazy. The things that continue to stick in my mind, however, are mainly the events of the last year, but even the several years prior to that that led me to the decision of having WLS.

Over the years, I've known I needed to get my body under my control. When I was younger, I may not have known that specifically, but I knew I was heavier than everyone else (or so it seemed), and I didn't want to be. I dieted, tried pills, and points. After WW one year, I lost 30lbs in about a month and a half... after, I don't know what happened.  I don't know why I didn't stick with it, or why my mind didn't "click" and say- keep going! A few years ago, after giving it what I thought was a "good go" at eating right and trying to exercise, I lost nothing. I felt completely defeated, and fell right back into my old habits, like I always had. Looking back now, I think I just wasn't ready. Maybe I was lazy, maybe I was not educated enough on being healthy. I do know that I clearly lacked the drive to REALLY make the necessary changes, and likely even the true desire.

My decision to have weight loss surgery was not one that happened over night. In fact, it took over 3 years, lots of research, many discussions, and even more research. My struggle with my weight has gone on much longer, though. It took me many failed diets, frustration, tears, and acceptance that if I don’t do something to change that I will have many unwanted problems in the future.

It wasn't until this time last year (actually these next couple of days are exactly a year!) that I finally made the decision that changed my life. When I finally set my mind to it, and put the plan into motion, my outlook changed. I was ready. I was ready to learn, ready to take in everything I could, and ready to CHANGE. I believe I've done just that. I overcame whatever many reasons were holding me back... fear, the idea that I wasn't strong enough. the idea that my hard work wouldn't pay off, and any other nagging voices in my head telling me I "can't". I CAN, I DID, I AM, and I WILL.

I've learned that I am stronger than I sometimes give myself credit for, and that hard work does pay off. I've learned the unknown isn't always something to fear, sometimes it's exciting, and refreshing. I've learned not to give up for any reason, if this is what I really want, I will find a way. I've learned all the set backs, all the times I've failed, all the feelings of defeat, all the tears, all the frustration... it all lead me to where I am today. And today I am excited for my more healthy and active future.

Still Waiting...

Since my last update not too much has happened in the way of getting a surgery date, but a few things are worth noting.

I attended a Bariatric Support Group meeting on January 18th. My mom came along with me, as well as a friend from the Options classes who needed to attend a group meeting also. I'm glad my mom came along, she said she had a couple questions answered, so that's good. It was kind of a let down for me, and not really what I was expecting. It felt like more of a requirement to attend than something that I would continue on with (that particular group anyways). There were many people at the meeting, maybe 50, so it wasn't at all personal. There was a retired doctor that came to speak, and spoke the entire time. The only time I head any sort of personal stories was before the doctor showed up (he was late), and even then it was mostly the leaders of the group talking about themselves. It was nice hearing about the few post-surgery patients, and their success, though. I still feel as though the online support forums I've been involved in provide me with more information and support.

The day after I attended the support group, I called in to let Kaiser (the education department) know I had done it so they could update my file. I spoke with Angela, who told me she'd let Melissa know (the one who updates the files), and then once she got my file together and sent it back to her, she'd give me a call... and she told me it would be "a couple of days". I also asked if there was anything I could do in the mean time, and if I had to meet with the psych first (I thought they told us in class that the psych eval was first, didn't mention being able to do it in any order). She told me I could meet with the Dr. first, as those appts are available pretty much every day, and the psych eval appointments are about a month out. So I'm thinking, wow, awesome! I'll be able to at least meet with the Dr. soon! By the 26th, I still hadn't heard from anyone, so I called and was told someone had tried to reach me. I'm thinking this is it! Yeah, no so much. Apparently Melissa tried calling me to tell me she added to my case that I had attended the support group. I was like.. okay AND?! She told me they weren't even on my class yet as far as reviewing cases, were currently about a "class and a half" away, and that it could take a week to hear something, or a couple months. It's very frustrating being told different things from people working in the same entity. I wish they would get their stuff together, and be on the same page, because it would make the experience for those going through this much smoother. After a couple weeks I hadn't heard anything, and wanted to get an idea of how quickly they were moving along. I called in, and received a return call (well, my mom took the call, since I was unavailable at the time, ha) saying they were still a class ahead of mine, and they would automatically schedule me for an appointment for when I returned from Texas (March 7th) as long as everything was cleared. How long after I return is a good question, though.

On February 17th, I went in to re-take my Vitamin D test. I had been taking Vitamin D supplements, since my original test was very low (result- 12). On Wednesday, my results were finally updated, and I am at an acceptable level now. I re-tested at 35 (>20 needed for surgery, >30 is normal range). Definitely happy about that, and relieved! One less thing to worry about.

I have spoken with my PCP (Primary Care Doctor), and given her an update of where things are. I pretty much said the quicker she can clear my file once it's sent to her, the better. I'm not anticipating any hold ups on my end, as everything has been done.

This process is taking longer that I had believed it would. I was thinking it would be about 3 months out from 'graduation' that I would be having surgery, and 3 months is quickly approaching. I was hoping to have my surgery done by the beginning of March, but it seems further and further away the longer this waiting goes on. I'm trying to stay pumped up and positive about it, but the more time that goes by, the more it feels like this will never happen for me. I just have to remember I've already done most of what needs to be done, and once I have my appointments with the surgeon and for the psych eval, it will likely move pretty quickly.

On a positive note, since my last update I have lost 4 more pounds! Slow and steady, but going in the right direction. That brings me to a total of 11lbs lost since I started my classes October 4th.

I have also finally started to incorporate physical activity into my life. It took me awhile to do, and I think a lot of it had to do with needing to realize that I can't start out where I need to be, I have to build up to that point. The other day I finally decided to get over my *insert excuse here* (apprehension, fear, laziness?) and get my butt onto the elliptical machine. First, let me say this- I HATE IT. ha. I guess part of it is me thinking I can't do it. The first time, I was on for 7 minutes, and thought my heart was going to pound out of my chest. Maybe I went too fast, too hard, too soon. I got discouraged and realized that me being discouraged and upset about having such a hard time is what has stopped me from continuing in the past. I feel like I should be able to do 30+ minutes right off the bat, and the fact is that I can't. I can't even do 15. At first I felt like crap about this.. but the more I think about it, the more I realized I need to work up to where I want to be, not just expect to start where I want to be. I've never been an active person, so I guess it's realistic for me to think I can't just start being one- I have to work at it. I have not given up, and have been using my resistance bands as well. I feel better about it, but still have that thought in the back of my mind that I should be able to do more. I need to try and be realistic, and start out slowly so that I don't push myself hard enough that I just quit. If I start out small, and slowly build up, it should get easier with time and commitment. I need to keep reminding myself of this, be realistic, and not lose motivation.

So, that's what is going on in the world of Stephanie's Weight Loss Surgery Journey. Not too much, yet positive changes at the same time.